I haven't written a blog post in over a year and a half. If I were to round up it would be two years. That is bananas! I can't believe how long it's been!
I also can't believe how much I've changed and my life has changed. I honestly can't even remember how I was feeling back then and to be honest I'm pretty sure that looking back most of the things I was upset about seem silly and irrelevant now.
Hopefully this will happen again. Hopefully 2 years from now I will sit here and think about how the problems I had in September of 2013 were just so ridiculous and I can't believe I was so worried about such trivial things.
I'm going to be honest right now, I'm writing from the heart and I'm not going to go back and edit this so it might be really annoying.
For the past 2 weeks I have been in a rough patch. I've felt alone, hurt, forgotten, and conflicted. I've questioned every decision I've made and I've questioned every step forward I've taken. I'm struggling. I'm not sure exactly how I feel about anything right now and all I can do is look forward and hope for the best. Not exactly the easiest thing for me unfortunately.
I'm constantly exhausted and even though I've thrown myself into several things I feel like I haven't accomplished much of anything. I feel discouraged in every aspect of my life. I feel defeated and I feel like I don't know what to do next.
I'm trying to change that. Unfortunately I'm not exactly sure how. I'm working on my attitude and I've told several people that in essence from now on I will be bright and shiny. To be honest I feel a little bit better. I'm trying to let go of the things that have been bothering me but those thoughts still linger. The underlying fear that lives within me is still there. Honestly I have no idea where I'm going with this, like I said I'm kind of just feeling my way through it at the moment.
I really wasn't thinking about writing things that other people could read because for the past 2 weeks I've been so emotional and miserable that everyone would think I'd completely lost it.
A friend convinced me to start writing again so here I am. Day 2 of my bright and shiny journey has gone pretty well so far so hold me to it I guess.
Peace
