Calculus

My senior year of high school I took AP calculus. I knew it would probably suck because what about AP calc sounds good? Not a damn thing, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. All my friends were in the class, I was pretty decent at math, and honestly how bad could it be right?

Well turns out it was fucking awful. I mean we had our ups and downs, calc and I, but overall calc fucked me big time. I mean I had some really great "ah-ha!" moments and I learned a lot but it just destroyed me.

I'm not exaggerating, calculus destroyed me. I had never done so poorly in a class before (I got my first D+ my senior year of high school!), it just broke me down mentally and I didn't know how to handle it. I cried because of calc. A lot. Yea, it seems ridiculous but I did. I cried all the time, why couldn't I do this shit? I had never had this kind of problem before, why can't I just handle this stupid math?

Half way through the year I decided that I should probably just drop the class for the last two terms. I didn't need calc and my gpa would definitely benefit from the change. My mom thought it was a great idea too, calc ruined everything so why not just get rid of it?

As the second half of the year started I could only wonder, why didn't I just fucking drop it?

I didn't drop calc. Why? Because of the challenge. I love a challenge and I wasn't going to let this stupid bullshit calculus win. If I quit calc wins. So yea I finished the year. I actually brought my D+ up to a B+ and basically told calculus to suck my dick.

When I was picking my classes for my first semester as a college freshman I was put into calculus. I placed in because I had taken and passed it in high school (even though I didn't pass the AP test).

After spending 3 month calculus free I entered my first college calc class. I mean how hard could it be. Sure it ruined my life the first time and I probably should have walked away then but I had learned my lessons. I knew most of this stuff now and it shouldn't be that hard the second time around. I mean it wouldn't be easy but how hard could it be right?

I sat through the first class and then we got a review packet for homework. As I sat down to look at it I realized I didn't have a fucking clue as to how to do it. At all.

I didn't remember anything.

It wasn't an easy decision but at that moment I knew that I was fucking done with calculus.

I was done letting calculus make me feel stupid.

I was done wasting my time on calculus when it didn't do shit for me.

And I was just done crying over something as silly as fucking calculus.

Ya know it was really hard for me to just give up on calc in high school, that would make me a quitter, I would lose if I gave up.

Now? Now it would just be stupid to put myself through that bullshit again. I had a break from calculus and now I could see how stupid it was in relation to my life.

Why the fuck should I take calculus when all it does is make me miserable?

All calculus ever did was break me down, sure we had some good times but overall it wasn't really benefitting me at all.

So I dropped it.

What a concept.

Once I get a bit of break, realize I don't need you, realize you won't do anything but annoy me?

I will drop you.

Just like calculus.

Suck my dick.